Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Can the real Prophet please stand out?!



Spiritual fathers, Mentors, Generals, Leaders, Apostles, Mega church founders, Prophets. Call them what you will. They come in different shape and/or form but identify themselves as individuals who were sent by God, to his people, to share the gospel and effect change in people’s lives, regardless the methods. They are the light that many look up to, a beacon and lighthouse during turbulent storms.



In life, people face numerous challenges that range from health, to personal relationship issues, finances, work related stresses etc, and more often than not, turn to spiritual guidance to see them through these tough times.



That said, the people they turn to, have become, more infamous for abuse of position and taking advantage of the vulnerable for financial or other associated gains. The first question that springs to mind is “have we become so blinded by our ‘problems’ we have become gullible to charlatans and stage players who step out of cars, more expensive that the combined earning value of their congregants, in expensive Gucci or otherwise labeled suits?” (One notable ‘Man of God’ stated all he wears is Versace and Luis Vuitton-to appeal to the international market.”)



In biblical terms, what is the role of a prophet? Manfred ****** from All Nations Christian Church, gifted in the ministry of Prophetic insight had this to say, “There are levels of prophetic ministries within the body of Christ, in essence, types of gifting bestowed upon individuals. Any form of prophecy is intended to encourage, edify, call to repentance and build up an individual, the body of Christ or the nation.




The areas of prophecy include Redemptive gifts of prophesy (those bestowed on God exclusively for individuals to operate in this sphere of ministry)-working effectively in ministry in this area usually takes 20 years to nurture the gift and is never used for anything else but the above mentioned. “The second involves the gift of prophecy listed in the spiritual gifts in which all individuals are to operate in. So in actual fact, we all have the ability to prophecy. If you go to some one and tell them ‘I believe God wants what’s best for you and I know he will come through for you,’ that is edification and you speaking for the future … ‘he will come through for you.’ That’s prophecy.”



Manfred continued by adding that an individual telling you your I.D number, your cousin’s name, your mother’s aunt’s neighbour’s cat’s kitten’s toy colour bears no spiritual significance on your life as it adds no value in any way. It doesn’t tell you how to live, how Christ can be the voice you need to hear etc. He equated that to witchcraft and said Christians are not the only ones who can perform miracles, citing the example in exodus when Moses’ staff turned to a snake and so did Pharaoh’s sorcerers.



This also leads to the conclusion that many of the so called “New-Age prophets” could be operating under “alternative power” and we might think it’s divinely oriented but might be otherwise.



Have Christians become so enchanted by this Razzle-dazzle we have totally abandoned reading the bible for ourselves, noting what it says about wealth, healing and success, we decide to follow ridiculous teachings and directionless pointless “visionaries?”







The headlines are screaming:

·      “Pastor introduces and sells bath soap that brings back lost lover,”

·      “Prophet sells holy water, air and soil from Israel in all complete healing package,”

·      “Apostle charges N$20 000 per ticket for banquet with congregants, who will receive special prayer for blessing”

·      “Individual buys Pastor million dollar car for his ministry,”

·      “Prophet makes congregants eat grass, for their deliverance,”



All these are daily headlines that pay no respect to the relevance of the money being paid by the average Joe, probably spending the little s/he has put away to give to the “man of God” who already has 12 bodyguards, spends a night in the most exclusive of hotels, does not walk to appointments and services but is chauffeured to and fro.



The problem then is in two parts. Firstly, what group of people allow themselves to be duped into feeding someone’s ego and money extortion schemes in the name of “God.” Can they not see for themselves that they are but pawns in the grander scheme of things? “Prophecy” and “spiritual discernment” has become a rather profitable business in Africa lately with people flocking to these services en masse to “give so they can receive.” When one individual seen at these meetings was asked by this writer whether the prophecy spoken over their lives had come true and they had receive the financial breakthrough they were looking for? A dumb look fell upon their face and the most outrageous excuse came from their mouth: “I was told my faith is not strong enough, and I need to develop and exercise my faith to tap into the ‘blessing.’”

How much faith do you need when you earn a little over N$2500 a month, have a family of 5, excluding random family members who pop in now and then, and then have to give “a love offering of N$500” to the Man of God for your blessing?! Are people that naïve? Am I expecting too much from people when I ask them why they just cannot stop funding these extortionist enterprises that leech of the needy only to faten the rich?



George Orwell’s Animal Farm comes to mind at this time, when he says, “All animals were created equal, but some are more equal than others.” This saying is beyond true in its nature in that we have elevated mere mortals, men and women, with blood and flesh like you and I into a God like status, were, whether we like it or not, we have placed them higher than God himself. We don’t care what he says, we don’t go looking for it for ourselves. We want it to be told to us by somebody else, in a shiny flashy suit and N$2000 shoes, so that we can believe it. Sad. Very sad.



The power that we, as individuals, have to change our own destinies is immense. Romans 8:11 addresses this by saying “But if the same Spirit of him that raised Christ from the dead dwell in you, shall quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit which dwells in you.” With such a power, anything can be overcome.



Pastor Peter Banda, from Elevated Ministries stated that “people seek what is popular, and not necessarily what is right, and in so doing lose track of the meaning of the gospel in the first place.”


The second part of the problem is with the swindlers themselves. No other word seemed appropriate to use to address these individuals. If one is sent by God, surely all their needs are met without them having to pay for unnecessary luxuries. Consider the likes of Elijah, Elisha, Paul, etc all powerful agents of the word of God who moved from place to place spreading the gospel and answering the call, but making use of what they found where they went. None of them demanded to stay in the most expensive of places, but that didn’t stop them from doing the work of God.



If an individual then says they are bringing a word from God and they want to charge me for it, I am forced to ask questions. If its from God, its not your word, its His word, you are but a vessel, say what God has sent you to say, and let my pocket be mine and mine alone. I am not, in any way,  advocating for people not to give. It is encouraged to give, but when one gives out of coercion and out of obligation and arm-twisting for other forms of gain, then we have a problem. “Blessings will not be theirs if they do not give”-such mentalities should be change.



People should be protected from such individuals, and because we are a desperate people in harsh times seeking for answers, we will end up falling for anything that is packaged right. The prosperity gospel is very attractive, especially if delivered by a sweet talking well travelled and well dressed man who owns a couple of private jets, schools, clinics, and businesses but ministers daily to people with no shoes. We like that sort of thing. “Something to aspire to.” I believe however, that when the day of judgment comes, which no man can escape, those entrusted with people’s lives spiritually will have a different yardstick that will not be so understanding and forgiving for misleading people down the wrong path.



When will we learn? We are being blinded and continue to pour more and more into individuals’ coffers with no spiritual return. “But store up your treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy….”Matthew 6:20. If there is a phrase that really sums it up, it is, Matthew 7:15 “Beware of prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”



Decide for yourself.




Disclaimer: This article is not written as a scathing attack towards any one individual/group of individuals. It is based on opinion, public interest and individual observation.



Sunday, 7 February 2016

Next Time You Go Out


Ok, so…first things first: I would not call myself a bitter individual with some grudge. I am not going to say I am one of those people who looks at your through the corner of the eye, judging everything you are doing as you dine the day/night away.

Anyway, there are a few things that I, and the rest of the sane, normal and very particular dining public have picked up, about patrons who have a desire to, well, treating public areas of nutritional uptake as their private boudoirs.

Below is a few, lets call them “tips,” that are meant to enlighten those that might not be aware of the modernisation of the dining experience. They are meant to help you or “someone you know” out, so that just incase you get prying eyes that won’t stop looking at you next time you go out, you will know why.

1.            The “Tormenting Tooth-Picker” (The TTP)

Stop it! Stop it! For goodness sake and for all that’s mighty, please just stop! Just because the restaurant offers your tiny little toothpicks at the end of your ribs and wings or your medium rare oryx steak, doesn't mean, as you await your bill, you should start digging away at your dentals. It looks nasty, and looks nasty and oh, yes, it just looks nasty. Imagine you are in the middle of your meal, you see someone digging away at remnants of their meal, whilst you are about to take a bite of your pizza? Yes. I thought as much.  Not a prime time movie is it? Oh, and if you think a combination of your tongue, lips and mouth would make the perfect vacuum cleaner, by sucking the air through your teeth to try dislodge food stuck in there, then you might need professional help. Don’t be a TTP! Just don’t! #smh

5.    The “Tea time Slurpper”

Where to start?! You know those people that think just because some form of liquid is going through their lips and down their throat, they need to make some grotesque announcement of what they are doing, regardless of who is around them and if it happens to bother anyone? Nope, they don’t care. In their mind, “if it’s hot, I will slurp it!” To help, here is a scale of a few beverages and the slurp rating required; 0 being an absolute no no, and a10 being ‘slurp to your heart’s content. Everyone else can go fish!’

Hot tea/coffee (in the village): 7/10 (only because for some reason the tea takes years to cool down in those metal cups grandma got at the wholesaler’s)
Hot tea/coffee (at home): 2/10
Hot tea/coffee (at restaurant): 0/10 (if its hot, let it cool slightly, like normal people do)
Warm Milk: 0/10 (its warm, not hot)
Water: 0/10 (oh yes, water slurps exist)
Cold canned beverage: (insert that ‘how dare you’ look here)
Red/White Wine: -10/10
Champagne/Whiskey/Rum & other happiness inducing drinks: (if u even dare slurp champagne or whiskey, you are dead to me.)

1.    The “Table-Reacher”

Your armpit over my salmon is neither a pretty sight, nor is it a hygienic one either. It’s just nasty! Calmly and politely ask someone next to you to pass whatever it is you are trying to reach for. It’s just the right thing to do, for mankind’s sake. Keep your hands to yourself and your plate.

2.    The “Knife Grinding-Cutlery banger”

As amazing as your steak is or as tough as it might have turned out after asking for an extremely well done, you do not have a constitutional right to echo the sounds of your steak knife on the restaurants dinnerware in frustration towards the over grilled chicken. If the knife is not doing a good enough job, call your waitron; ask for a sharper and more effective knife. If that doesn't work, go get the chef’s butcher knife; just don’t make a nuisance out of everyone else’s dining experience

3.    The “Non-Stop Talking Tom”

S/he goes on and on. The levels elevated beyond the parameters of his/her table. They want everyone to hear and listen to either what they have achieved or attained or are consuming. The attention seeking is majorly profound, and in all honesty, they mess it up for the rest of us. Sign a petition with your fellow diners, give it to the manager to take action, and pray that it works. Otherwise, just stare at them, especially if you are more than two, and enjoy how uncomfortable it makes them! Oh, P.S: that doesn't work at a chisa-nyama or your local kapana joint. Everyone there is talking. That’s where people should be if they can’t shut it.

6.    The “Lookie Lookers”

Stop staring at me! Focus on your date or the people around you. I know I’m quite the hot one and all, but…just don’t look at me. I didn't come with you; neither did you come with me. Look at the food in your plate if your blind date scares you. Didn’t someone tell you in grade 1? It’s rude to stare.

I'm just saying.

Thursday, 7 January 2016

Happy "New" Year

I guess its one of those things when an individual needs an indication that life is undergoing a "dramatic shift" which will allow them to wipe the slate clean, start afresh perchance, and get things going all over again, hopefully eliminating the unfortunate occurances and mistakes that took place within the last calendar year.

The fact that the year is "new" falls to the opinion of an individual really, who decided we should have a structure  showing of time as we live it, otherwise we could have just lived from day to day. No "crazy fridays," or "blue mondays," and you could have church every two days if you wanted, (which sort of happens anyway.)

So what really drives people to that point where they sit down, take stock of their lives, and all the misery a whole year wouldve caused, and then decide to "do things differently in 2016" par exemple...Why dont people re-boot, or re-analyze in the middle of October, or halfway through November?

Our minds have succumbed to the mentality that the only time you can re order things and sort of realign them to your ultimate "plan in life" is to do it when the clock strikes 12, when the ball drops, or when you hear people yell 'Happy New Year." That then becomes an indicator for a restart, the perfect reboot point.

I tend to do things as i want, so I decided i should take stock when my birthday comes around, thats when my year begins...It wouldve been cooler if my birth coincided with the African winter but alas, it being in the first month of the "year" it kinda nulifies my desire to have my own new year....but still! I refuse to reboot after December 21.

So, will only be saying happy new year to you all on the 27 of January...a good 26 days later! So, "happy whatever this is after christmas but before the new year"